Yesterday something happened while I was preaching out of the book of Isaiah. I felt like the Spirit of God put his hand on my heart and said, right there. I was preaching on what Isaiah must have seen and felt when God called him. In a vision he saw the glory and holiness of God. How did Isaiah respond to that revelation?
“Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people with unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, The Lord of Hosts.” Isaiah was a man of God born out of necessity. A man who identified with his current generation.
Yes, my notes went out the window! They were just a springboard for what God was about to reveal. I began to reveal the current state of the American Christian and our Churches. The loss for the reverence of God, the fear of God and consecrated living. It was as if God was standing inside of me, reaching out to thousands of people even though there were only a handful in front of me.
Weeks ago I shared a post on Facebook about what I believed to be a question from the Spirit of God. Early one morning while I was getting ready for work, a questioned formed in my heart and mind. “When is a candle at its brightest?” I responded “When it’s the darkest.” As quick as the question was formed, it was gone. I just shrugged my shoulders and went about my day.
I felt an uneasiness all day after our meeting yesterday. I text my friend Pastor Tim and told him how I’ve been feeling about things for quite some time now, but I couldn’t put my finger on why. I have been uneasy about a lot of things, public and private.
Then this morning, still feeling a heaviness from the day before, I bowed my head in prayer. I asked God, what is wrong with me, why am I feeling like this?? And then I heard in my heart. “Lead them back to Me, lead them back in holiness and reverence, bring them back” I began to weep. I said “I can’t! I am the least likely to lead a mass of people like that. You know what I’ve done, my divorce, how I turned away from You, my past, how could you use me like that? They will shun me, hate me. My family would be vulnerable to attack, in and outside of the Church” I wept and wept. I wasn’t scared of what all this would mean, but I felt unworthy. He went silent. I didn’t need “another word” nor did I want one. Then, all the character studies, my time alone with God, all the recent morning devotions came crashing together! God will use a person that no one else wants or cares about, what other people have shunned or discarded, and He will use them for His glory. All a person has to do is say “YES” when He calls.
In 2005 a well-known minister prophesied over me about a specific “cause” that God had given me. He said it was huge and going to be like another person’s international ministry (whom I will not mention). I put that on a shelf because I had no clue what He was talking about, nor was there a “cause” in my heart. All these years later, could it be true?? All I can say right now is when I responded this morning in my heart with “ok Lord” the heaviness lifted.
I began to think of all the people that have backslidden and turned away from God. All the people that think they are done, God doesn’t love them any more, how could He? All the people that are in Church just going through the motions and all the people that have been deceived into believing that they can live any old way and be “ok” with God. This won’t be easy, it will take a devoted band of people to accomplish, but Jesus turned the whole world upside down with just twelve (unlikely) men that said “YES”.